We all need somebody to lean on.,
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
So i've struggled on the title of this post. Deciding between "tell me how i'm supposed to breathe with no air" and "we all need somebody to lean on".
I guess you already know the choice I made.
It's basically a "is this glass half empty or half full?" question.
These are the moments. They're the crossroads. The ones you look back when you get old and think "what if..."
Been doing some soul-searching reflection what not, watching glee and being alone helps to clear up my musty head a little bit.
Went for an auto-car lesson on monday and I thought I learnt an important life lesson during my time there. Unlike manual cars, auto cars do not require the gear shift lever nor the clutch pedal. In a sense it's really automated so you don't have something to think about twice before deciding to step on acceleration.
Which was also why I found myself slipping into high speeds rather easily as opposed to when im on a manual car.
In a way, I think, it's abit like life. The gear shift lever and the clutch pedal act as signposts to warn you of the dangers of going too fast. Like how she's put up so many warning fences for me, but still I did not take heed. You are right, I was or probably still am a little bit delusional.
I must have known all along but still I stepped on acceleration.
Still, I want to thank you for giving me the chance. They say it's better to regret what you have done than what you have not.
In Glee, Schuester said something that stuck a chord with me. "Life's a series of choice, a big combination of moments. Little ones that add up to big ones that create who you are."
So I've been moody lately, my behavior has been nothing short of juvenile. My actions erratic prolly ruining everything and moods and stuff for people but mostly and most definately myself.
In short, I was miserable.
I guess everything's about perspectives. With new perspectives and new directions everything seems less gloomy. I've been contemplating about whether to put this up, on whether it seems like it's too quick for me to get over. Or if ever, had I ever gotten over yet.
I'd just like to say, both things are just are important to me. If you say stuff like will never and forever, then I guess I have no choice but to accept truth as reality much as I like to reject truth. If I cannot have one, then I'd most gladly take the other. I enjoy participating in group chatter and laughter and it makes me miserable to be the one left out all the time.
I'd always want to be your friend.
Not sure if this would ever reach its intended audience and if it has what would come out of it. I know the cold turkey is for my own good.
But we all need somebody to lean on. So yes, I need somebody, some friend to lean on. So let me know if you still need me too.
10:32 PM